THOUGHT OF JIGME ZANGPO

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Lhazom, Chapter 4 , The Final Chapter

When I reached Lhuentse, people were celebrating the new year 2017. Arriving there at 6PM, along with my friends, we went to hotel and spent the night drinking and smoking. I told my best friend, Namgay Wangmo and Yeshi Peldon about my break-up with Lhazom, as they were close to me and understood my feelings and they always supported me.
Drinking all night, trying to forget her, then the next day I went to Mongar and stayed drinking and smoking with friends. Lhazom’s sister called me and asked me, “Where are you?”
I replied, “Mongar.”

Every time, my phone rang, I wished it was from Lhazom. Going to a karaoke in Mongar, I sang, ‘MELAM TSAM GI THAY WA DI.”
 After 3 days stay at Mongar, I went to my village, Dungkar in Lhuentse. Love from family made me to forget her a bit but I couldn't stop drinking and smoking. By then, she blocked me on Facebook, as I kept begging her. My friend used to call me, “beggar” and ‘psycho.”

 I was late for school. Getting a bus ticket from Mongar, I went there. That night, I received a call from her number. I could not express how happy I was to see her number flashing on my phone. Tears started to fill up and my heart grew lighter but I didn’t answer the call. She kept calling me. She started to call me from different phone numbers. Thinking it was a new number, I answered the call but it’s was Lhazom’s voice, sending thrill down my spine.
At last, I answered her call crying, “Please, don’t call me.”
Listening to me silently, she replied, “I am sorry.”
Hanging up the phone, I crashed the phone by throwing it up against the walls.

The next day, I started my journey off to Punakha. On reaching, Bumthang, I didn't go outside. No smoking and drinking, as I realized that I cannot be rude to myself. I stayed with no phone for three days. Then, I bought a new phone. I told my friends that I didn’t want to study and didn't attend class for two weeks. My friends missed me a lot, especially Namgay and Yeshi. They kept calling me, asking me to attend class but I didn't.
After four days, I received call again from Namgay, “Please, Karma come and attend class.” As soon as I hung up the call, Deki’s number flashed.
She said, “Let’s rejoin.”
I replied, “I cannot understand you.”
Listening to her voice, my tears started rolling down. I didn’t understand her. I was trying to but could not.
The next day, I went to class with my friend Dorji Tshewang. On seeing me, Namgay Wangmo rushed towards me, hugging me tightly. Exchanging greetings with Kinzang, I said, “I am hurry.”
Taking me to a hotel, we ate lots of food and I told them about Lhazom calling me about the rejoin. I sought their suggestion, whether I should accept or not?
Looking at me graciously, keeping her spoon down on the plate slowly, Namgay said, “Karma, you are not a football but if you still love her, you can rejoin.”

Two months later, I heard that Namgay Wangmo had been loving me since class eleven. But I was busy running after Lhazom and blind to see her love for she never confessed.
But I am very happy, for Namgay Wangmo is still my best friend and I don’t know where my fate will take me, as I wait patiently as the memory of Lhazom fades away from my both heart and mind as the days go by.
Original Story: Karma Chophel

Edited by: Phurpa Dorji (PJIKKS)

Lhazom, Chapter 3

As the year 2016 started, gearing up all my confidence, I told her, “I love you.”
She said, “I need time.”
I was surprised by her reply though she said that she had a break up with her boyfriend. But I didn’t ask the reason for the break up.
I said, “I love you very much.”
She replied, “HAHAHAHAHA.”

I made a Facebook account in class 10 and added her. My wechat name was Karma 4- deki chophel and Facebook name, karma 46 chophel. We chatted online every day but whenever I said, “I LOVE YOU.”
She just replied, “Thank You.”

After 6 months, having done my midterm, I headed back to my hometown, Lhuentse. That time, I asked her to meet me. As requested, she came and standing in front of her, I didn’t know what to say. Her sister become my friend. After 10 minutes, she went back to house saying, “Mom is calling.”
She sent me a sms, “BYE.”
I didn’t know why she sent me that, maybe she was bored after meeting me as I was not able to talk with her confidently.
Next day, I messaged her, “BYE.”
There was no reply from her.
After my midterm break, I got back to Punakha. We didn't chat for 3 weeks. And after that we chatted again. I told her, “I love you very much.”
Then she replied, “There are many beautiful girls in Ugyen Academy. Why don’t you get a girl from there?”
Confused by her words, I didn’t say no more words and our conversation ended. From that day, I blocked her on Wechat and Facebook and deleted her number from the phone but was not able to remove from my brain, as it remained there like a sculpture sculpted with gold on a stone. I shared my love for her to friends and her rejection. Though, madly in love, I was thinking of giving up at that time.
On November 6, I received a SMS from her, “Do you still love me?”
Shocked by this message from her number, I replied, “I still do and will love you forever.”
Then she texted, “Then, my answer is ‘Yes.’”
 This message took my breath for a while but not believing the words, I asked her, “What do you mean?”
A new message beeped immediately.
“I accept your love. Love you, too.”
Did she mean that? It took almost 3 years to accept my love. I was not able to trust her but she said, “I really mean it.” That time, she was busy preparing for her friend’s birthday.
I recharged voucher every time, thinking that she might chat with me, but on December 14, we had some misunderstanding. She said, “I am giving up on you.”
That time, I was in Thimphu taking tuition. I thought she was joking but she really did. I didn’t know the reason. Maybe, she didn't love me truly, like I did. My Facebook page was full of her photos but hers was flooded with friends, not a single photo of mine.
It broke my heart and everything was cold and dark around me. Eyes brimming with tears, I went to my room, closing the door and covering my head under the blanket, I started crying like a baby. Then I cut my hand. Not knowing how to cope up with the pain, I begged her on Facebook every day by tagging her but got no response from her. I cried. Every time. Every night. But no one noticed. From the next day, I started to drink, smoke and chew baba.
I bunked from the tuition classes, stayed drinking and smoking all the time. I became like a dog and tiger who was once a cat. I went out at night, hanging out with my friends: drinking, smoking and abusing drugs, HUKAA. After a month, I headed back to Lhuentse. On reaching Bumthang, I was drunk and fell asleep under the bus. In the morning at 5AM, getting up from the road and I went to collect my stuff from the hotel room, shivering with cold.
Original Story: Karma Chophel
Edited by: Phurpa Dorji (PJIKKS)

Chapter 4 Tomorrow @9PM

Lhazom, Chapter 2

Then the schooling started in 2015, after a silent cold winter break. Lhazom was in 10A and me in 10D, thus we were distanced by 10B and 10C. Interestingly, a boy each from 10B and 10C were in love with her.
It was on 8th May, 2015, 9.43PM, I was in the hostel, when I heard my friend talking about Lhazom being in relationship with a boy from 10C. Heart struck hard by those words, I stayed silent. Then l bluffed to my friends, “Good for her.” Mobile phones were not allowed in the hostel but I had phone with me just to keep contact with her. Sadly, I couldn't to call her before but that night, covering my head under the blanket with tears rushing down my cheek, heart sinking deeper every second; crying for a girl for the first time. Dialing her number, I waited but she didn’t answer making it busy.
“Congrats.”
I messaged her.
She replied, “Thank you.”
I texted her, “He is a very good person. He will never leave you. Happy Relation.”
I ended the conversation sending her a crying emoji. I stayed awoken till 3 am, then I fell asleep in the morning and was late for the morning studies. I was not able to study well from that day as my heart was always wandering, thinking about her. I started to ignore her number. While I was going mad for Lhazom, some girls were after me but I could not feel my love for them. The year ended and the result was out soon. I didn’t qualify and so decided to join Ugyen Academy, Punakha.
Original Story: Karma Chophel
Edited by: Phurpa Dorji (PJIKKS)

Chapter 3 Tomorrow @9PM